Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Pizza, Heartbreaks, and Stuff

So, I recently started working back at my old Papa John's. It's been going well, for the most part. The "family" up there is pretty mean sometimes (ie: jokes and whatnot). I got re-hired as a manager and I closed by myself for the first time tonight in a year. I think I did pretty well, but that's mostly because Mondays are slow. Not like I'm complaining, because I don't want to be up there past 1am, but you get where I'm going with that...
I also spent all of last week in a funk. I have been single for the past week. It is kind of refreshing, but at the same time: I hurt. I can go spend time with family and friends that I had devoted to my loved one, but there is always this sadness to it. I hang out with one of my guy friends and it's not the same. In fact, I was so upset by it, that I begged to be taken home. Luckily my friend is a sweetheart, so he understands, but I still felt bad. Even through the "fun", I still thought about my ex. Not like I'm trying to, honestly, but he WILL NOT GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!
It's driving me bonkers. I can't sleep properly, in fact, I haven't really slept. And I've lost 20lbs in a week, because food doesn't sound good. I have to eat Papa John's while I'm there...and while pizza is okay every once in a while, it took 3 pieces for me to dislike it...AGAIN. Don't get me wrong, I love my job... being a manager is awesome, but the food... old news, haha. 
I have a twin and she and I share a room. She actually is one of my favorite people to be around and when she's visiting other people for prolonged periods of time, I miss her...simply because we'll stay up till 3am laughing at everything. Even if there is almost no humor to it. I've almost died 6 times tonight. I feel like my throat closes up when I laugh like that, lol. 
She's been helping me through my break up, which has been very good. She's not the only one though, because I have lots of guy friends and girl friends who love me. I might be someone difficult to love (3% difficult, according to nametests quiz), but I am worth the love. I deserve love just as much as the next human, which is where I'm challenging all of you as readers: show kindness and love to someone you barely know, someone you know well, or all of the above. And, I'm not just saying this because of the holiday season, I'm saying it, because we all deserve love. If you're hesitant around a certain type of people, because you don't know their group very well, become friends with one person in that group. Or at least go out of your way to be nice. Show that person that there is some faith left in humanity. Please, if you do this, do not just stop after January first though, because that is messed up. One of the things that bothers me is that we can all be nice around this season, but once it's over: hateful hags here we come!
Just, be nice to someone you don't know, or someone you do. Befriend them, show brotherly kindness and love, and make them feel special, wanted and loved. That's all for right now...

Love, Syl

Monday, December 14, 2015


So, I'm writing again. I know, I know... so soon?
Well, yes actually. I've been inspired by a movie: Aloha. Yes, a Romantic Comedy. Sue me, lol. My "dad" is a lawyer, so good luck! ;)
Anyways. I've been hearing what I think is thunder the whole time I've been watching this movie. I'm AFRAID of thunder and I KNOW it's an irrational fear, but I can not seem to help it. I developed this fear around 15 years old. Idk how or why, I just remember liking them and then fearing them. So, this is a new fear. The thing is, I really want a thunderstorm to happen. I want to drive around in torrential rains and get lost. I want to explore the things I haven't yet explored. I want to travel, become a Queen to some man who actually loves me. 
I want to be loved and make someone so happy that he can not stand it. I want to make him feel like I am the reason he is alive. I want to love him and be loved by him. I want to show the world how magical the planet we live on is. No, there aren't witches and wizards like LOTR or Harry Potter, and mermaids are still a fantastical story to talk about, and no I haven't found a unicorn... 
This world is magical in a whole other way. The way sunlight sparkles against concrete, the way raindrops fall and rebound, the way children can look you in the eye and change your life forever. There is so much to see, so much to feel. Mountains are amazing to climb up and view everything. The way the rabbits hop along, how the deer hide and show themselves every once in a while, how the bears are obviously there. 
It's all something to see, even if you've seen it, there is always something new. For every death there is a life that is added to the world. It's like reading a book over and over again, there is always something that you missed no matter how observant you are. One of my favorite things about this world is: music. I love hearing a new song for the first time, in fact if you have a song you think I might like, share it with me. I love music. Music unlocks the soul, expresses our inner thoughts and feelings, and it's a magic that certain people have an amazing talent for!
Stars are magical, the ocean is magical, storms are magical. The most devastating storms are very magical, in the fact they bring different life together. Muslims, Mormons, Jews, Germans, Latinos... they all get together when a storm devastates another group of people. There are donations, people helping, etc. It's a sign of human compassion, humane treatment, and love. 
Even people can cause devastating storms. I was just involved with one, and you know what. I'm tired of existing! I want to LIVE. I want to laugh and have fun! I don't want the drugs, sex, or booze...because that doesn't make you truly happy... I want the adventure. The love. The hope. And my friendships. I cherish all of that and I hope that you, as my readers, do too. 
Thanks for reading my 6am thoughts. Maybe I'll write more later? Haha. I really hope I can help people through this. 

Love, Syl

Newbie Noob Nooberton

I never actually started this blog, I mean, I made the profile and had 2 things saved as drafts... but I never actually posted, published, or shared who I am and what I do.. so here goes..
My name is Sylvia Rose. I am 20 years old. I want to be an actress someday, I mean I dream about it all the time. I watch movies and I always get inspired to be like all of the celebrities, but let's face it, I'm kind of a bed potato. I mean: I actually daydream about being on Ellen, meeting Jennifer Lawrence for a movie shoot, and so many more.. the desire is so freaking strong. Anyways, I'm also a poet. I have the heart of a wayward poet/artist/I'm a romantic. No, I don't read romantic novels..at least not the ones from the Romance section. Please, you can just change the names and professions and you're still reading porn. Not my thing. I like action.
Romantic Comedies are where it's at. Or those strange ones that no one can quite understand, except I do, because I pay attention. Lol. Even though I fantasize about romance, it never really seems to come my way. I mean, sometimes it does, but not forever. I want the pretty wedding with the huge cake and all my closest friends and family telling me how much of a princess I look like... except, I'd also settle for a Good Will wedding. I'm fine with a cheap one and a Wal-Mart cake and nerdy posters hanging on every wall and the fake flowers from Dollar Tree. It doesn't have to be HUGE...just as long as it happens. If the guy proposes with a fake plastic ring, like those from the CiCi's vending machines...It's a yes, cause I like that idea. That's like the perfect proposal to me. We're playing games and all of a sudden, he pulls .25 cents out of his pocket, spins the wheel, opens the ring, gets on a knee and begs for my hand. Total yes from me, haha. But that's me rambling..
I LOVE my cat. Her name is Midnight Harley Quinn. She is black, furry, and has the most AMAZING green eyes. Like I get lost in them sometimes. She means the world to me and I would be sad without her. She doesn't like cuddles though... :'(
I share a room with my "twin". I wish we had come out of the same womb, but we didn't. We are quite a bit alike and a mutual best friend's family claimed us and moved us in. They love us as if we were their actual daughters, which is good for us because of our past with crappy family. 
And what does someone, such as myself do? Well, I am a NERD. I love Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sherlock, Anime, Disney, Marvel, DC, Pokemon, YuGiOh, Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter Series...etc...I also game: Halo, Assassin's Creed, Tomb Raider, Neverwinter, etc... you catch the drift. I'm also a bookworm. I'm reading like 5 books right now. One is the first book in The Bartimaeus Trilogy. It's actually kind of funny and similar to a John Greene book I read, in the fact that there are footnotes that make me laugh... speaking of John, I should re-read An Abundance of Katherine's soon... really had me, lol. Jonathan Stroud is a great writer too. Wonder if Greene was inspired by him? Idk.
Oh.... I work at Papa John's. That's right, I'm a dough-slinging, pizza-cutting, pizza-topping, order-taking, complaint-fulfilling, manager. I do it all, haha. I've even ran a few deliveries when we were behind before. That was scary. They sent me at 2am to some of the sketchiest locations, BY MYSELF. Oh wells, I got like $20 in tips, so it made up for it. 
The thing I don't like about myself is my lack of motivation lately. I just got out of an amazing relationship and I deeply regret it, only I'm not trying to go back, because it hurt me. I was happy with the guy, but I could tell he didn't want to be with me anymore. Which hurts. Gentlemen, grow some and tell the ladies you don't want to be with them, or you're losing interest, don't lead them on when they could be happier. 
But anyways... I think that's all for now. I hope to write more soon... and what is the purpose of this blog? Well: to share bits of me that I feel should be shared. To help those in need of help, and maybe inspire someone that they are worth so much more. Haha. This is going to be fun. I'll write soon!!

-Love, Syl